Sometimes I get asked a question, which I rarely reply to. Not because I don’t like the question – I actually love it – but because I never agree to go over-simplistic on things of that nature.
The question is – “what motivates you to work so much?”. Straight up answer is that I rarely feel motivated or inspired to do anything. I may get a burst of energy once in a while, after reading a book about someone who’s inspirational but it doesn’t really last long. Quickly comes and quickly fades away, as it does for most people.
And that’s okay, because I really couldn’t care less. I’m not motivated, I’m driven. Everything I’ve managed to accomplish so far, comes from an internal drive which does not let me to stagnate and settle down . Since I can remember, I’ve always cared about only a few things, and very little has changed over the years.
It always has been about the family, the relationships, the fulfillment and seeking happiness for myself and those around me. Then as I grew older, I wanted to do something meaningful. To have an impact on the world and people around me.
For some reason, it never was about chasing money to buy toys or entertainment for myself. If any, I’d rather spend it to bring some joy to the life of people I care for, rather than spending it recklessly on things I know would serve me zero value in the long run. So that’s been a blessing, because it’s really helpful when you don’t feel a need to have many things in order to live. Luxury was never something I cared for, and I’m grateful for that.
The only reason I work so hard these days is because my priorities have not changed the slightest bit since I was a little kid.
It’s not to have frequent vacations, not to buy entertainment or to flash my money. It never was about any of these things because I knew it’s way too little to satisfy my hunger.
I work hard for the gratification that I know will not come any time soon, but rather in the next decade or so. But it’s fine with me, because once it comes, it’ll last for decades after. I work because I want to build an empire of happiness, love, fulfillment, joy, and meaning. I want to build a foundation of all these for the family of my family, for my partner and for my children so that I can keep my soul calm, knowing that people I care for the most, are truly happy and love each other sincerely.
I want to build an environment, in which my people are put in the best way to succeed in whatever they decide to pursue personally and professionally.
I want to build an empire in which people like me can find their place in life, pursue and achieve professional fulfillment. Way too many people spend their lives working at places in which they don’t feel at their best, but they have to do something to take care of their family. I want that empire to be an inspiration for others to pursue their dreams and for other business owners to learn how they can create a healthy culture in which people feel at their best and perform at their peak.
None of these come easy. If anything, “easy” is the last word that comes to my mind while thinking about the mission.
Becoming self-aware and understanding your deep needs isn’t something that happens overnight. Building a profitable business isn’t a bread and butter either. Learning how to build, maintain and develop healthy relationships certainly doesn’t happen at the snap of your fingers.
Everything takes work, especially when you want it to be excellent. I’m not a perfectionist and I don’t strive to become one. However, I strive for excellence, because I simply can’t accept anything that I know could be better for me and those I care for.
Surely people manage to go through life with moderate happiness, moderate fulfillment, and moderate health. But I don’t want to answer with a fucking “it’s okay” or “it’s fine” when someone asks me how’s my life going. I want my life to be alive, not fucking okay. If I know there are people who have loving, healthy and supportive families – I want that for myself and those around me. If I know there are people who can’t wait to wake up each and every day to get back to work they love, then I want that for myself and those around me.
It’s not because I feel entitled or that I feel I deserve it. I’m not a wishful thinking whiner who believes that he’s been born for greatness thus the greatest goods should be given to him. If anything, it would be a complete opposite. I deserve what I work for, not what I feel I’m entitled to, so let’s get that clear. But I do know that life’s long enough, for me to get what I want to have, and by the same token, it’s so short that I don’t want to spend it not living up to my potential.
Yes, it’s painful and it does hurt when I fail. But I’m willing to suck it up, because I know that some things are simply worth fighting for. Relationships, work, love, and dreams are the essence of life so how could I even dare to think that I’m allowed to cut corners and compromise on working hard for them?
What else would I be doing instead – sitting around and waiting until someone gives me their multibillion-dollar company? Or better yet, wait till one day I wake up and out of the blue I find myself in a big cozy house filled with happy kids playing around and a wife who loves me dearly? That ain’t going to happen and it never happened to anyone else. No one was ever given something exceptional without working hard for it.
And you better get yourself the discipline and that mindset, because working for it is just a beginning. When you achieve that, you get on the next level and you work even harder.
When you work hard to join a great company, you just don’t lay back for the rest of your life because you’ve managed to get there. You work your ass off to keep up, because there are higher standards over there. And that should be no surprise to anybody, because that’s what drove you there in the first place – the uniqueness of that place and its high standards. And the same mindset should be kept for everything in life that matters to you, whether it’s relationships, career or anything else.
Everyone has it the same, I’m no how different from most people on the planet. I’m just not willing to compromise on the essence of life, which makes me willing to suck up a ton of painful experiences, because once I get what I want, the whole pain will vanish, leaving only the positive results of today. At that moment, yesterday’s pain won’t matter if it led to today’s happiness and fulfillment. Failed relationships, failed businesses, failed expectations are meant to be taken into the equation, because a path to the greatness isn’t easy. But each failure means that you’ve tried and gives you a space to learn from it, and do it better the next time. There is no alternative to agreeing to the laws of nature and acknowledging that failures and pain are the very natural experiences. Although this mindset won’t make you immune to suffering, it’ll give it a meaning, helping you cope with whatever difficulty life has thrown at you.
And tomorrow? For tomorrow I got to continue the fight, but thanks to the effort already put in, it’s getting easier and easier. Because having some of the things I truly wanted, firstly gives me the support, and secondly embraces the mindset because it has once proven itself to work.
So yeah, that’s my philosophy. And if you think you deserve something better for yourself and your closest ones, then fucking work for it. Cavalry isn’t coming to the rescue. No one is. It’s all on you to take care of your needs and dreams.
Get in the field, ’cause life’s going to pass by anyway. I simply decided I want it to pass by with some quality and flavor as opposed to agreeing to the misery and boredom.
Good luck Y’all, ’cause you’ll need some. First to find what drives you and then to not let it destroy you. The drive can be so powerful, that it can be your best ally as much as it can be your deadly enemy. If you’re driven to create a good environment for yourself and your family, it can get to extremes where you lose a clear vision over your personal life and you just bury yourself in the grind, losing precious time, experiences and the most importantly – your health. And although it may make sense short term, you really won’t be much of a help to your closest ones of you destroy your health and become miserable or dependent on their help. Always think long-term and take care of yourself.
On the other hand, if your drive is to help others or to build great relationships, you may find yourself in situations where you care way too much for someone else, significantly more than you care for yourself, making others happier at your cost. You may want to fix the world, and cure people who seem to need help, but overdoing it with some individuals only takes you further away from your bigger mission and your own happiness while there is zero certainty that your effort will be appreciated and there are high chances that your drive will be exploited if you let them to.
A drive is the best thing that can happen to a human being, but if not controlled it can put you in a state of complete misery. Find what drives you, and employ it to achieve your happiness rather than becoming a slave to it. Take control and let it get you places you want to get, and make sure you protect your drive well. Because there will be people against whom you must defend your drive and dreams. People who don’t support you, people who tell you to slow down, who secretly wish you’ll fail so they can have a satisfaction which helps them cope with your rejection of them.
Make your drive your best friend and protect it like you would protect a real friend who’s been put in a danger. ‘Cause the worst thing that can happen to a human being is for them to become hopeless and aimless.
Do whatever makes you happy. Your time and opportunities are limited so don’t fuck it up.